I’m done running. I’m exhausted. I don’t want that life anymore. So I've decided to come forward, own up to what I've done, and tell my story to the best of my recollection.”

This passage is describing a famous well known, writer, named Jose Antonio Vargas’s illegal status in the USA.  Jose who was sent away by his mother, from the Philippines, to live with his grandparents, was brought up on an illegal green card, a fake social security number and other various false identification, without any knowledge till the age of 16.  He wants to come out and tell people his secret. Jose’s dream was becoming a well-established writer, without being paranoid of being caught for his true identity, in this passage he comes to the realization that he needs to come clean.   This passage strikes me as bold and courageous, all because of one thing, the ability to be truthful at the end. Jose did an excellent job on giving a lot of description on situations, to create a vivid image in the reader’s heads. His tone came across as wanting people to understand the situation he was put into.   He uses repletion in this passage, “I” to emphasize that it’s time to come to an end and confess.

“I’m ready to start the race, I’m enthusiastic. I want to feel the rush. So I've decided to stay focused, keep my head in the game, and run this race like I have never done before.  



02/26/2013 10:18am

Excellent work. Your emphasis on the repetition is good and on target. I also like your imitation, it works really well with the sentence structure.


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